Words I never said
by supastar45
Summary: Yami loves Yugi so much. All he needs to do is tell him that and get over his fear. But is it already too late? SONG FIC!


AN: Got this idea at 12:30 while listening to Lupe Fiasco

_It's so loud_

_Inside my head_

_With words that I_

_Should've say_

Yami sat in his car, looking up at the sky not going anywhere. He did that a lot these days. Just listening to music while trying to drown out the sound of his life. His life. What a sorry excuse for a thing it had turned into. He wanted to say it to him. He knew he should have but it was too late now. A tear.

_As I drown _

_In my regrets_

_I can't take back the words I never said_

_I can't take back the words I never said_

What a true song. These were Yami's thoughts as he listened to the song on the radio. A single tear escaped from the corner of his eye as he thought about the truth. Drowning. He was drowning in his regrets. It was only one but it was eating him alive from the inside. It was more painful than any bullet could ever be. Another tear.

_I really think the war on terror is a bunch of bullshit_

_Just a poor excuse for you to use up all your bullet_

_How much money does it take to really make a full clip_

_9/11 building 7 did they really pull it_

Yami had made so many excuses for himself. He knew they were all a bunch of crap, all lies. But he was too scared. He had tried. Or had he really? Yami knew he hadn't tried as hard as he could have. He was just too scared. And now because of it, the most important thing ever to him was gone. Another tear.

_Uhh, And a bunch of other cover ups_

_Your childs future was the first to go with budget cuts_

_If you think that hurts then, wait here comes the uppercut_

_The school was garbage in the first place, that's on the up and up_

Yami had gotten so scared that eventually he just hid. He didn't even try to let him know how he felt. It was just too hard, to frightening! Even when he had been trying his attempts had been crappy from fear. The fearless Yami they used to call him. What a joke. Another tear.

_Keep you at the bottom but tease you with the uppercrust_

_You get it then they move it so you never keeping up enough_

_If you turn on TV all you see's a bunch of "what the fucks"_

_Dude is dating so and so blabbering bout such and such _

He wanted him so bad. He still remembered when he would look up at Yami before going to sleep and say 'I love you Yami.' Yami knew better than to know it was teasing. But he knew that his definition of love and Yami's definition of love was different back then. As if that wasn't enough then he has to hear about him finally asking out the girl of his dreams. It hurt. So bad. Another tear.

_And that ain't Jersey Shore, homie that's the news_

_And these the same people that supposed to be telling us the truth_

_Limbaugh is a racist, Glenn Beck is a racist_

_Gaza strip was getting bombed, Obama didn't say shit_

Yami kept hoping he would wake up and it would all be a dream. But he wasn't that lucky. He never woke up because he was sadly never dreaming. He was awake. The pain in his chest was too much to let him be sleeping. But of course through all this he didn't say a thing to him. He should have. Another tear.

_That's why I ain't vote for him, next one either_

_I'ma part of the problem,_

_my problem is I'm peaceful_

_And I believe in the people._

Yami did have a problem. It wasn't that he was peaceful. He kept coming up with the worst possible scenarios for what could happen. Yami knew in some of those scenarios, they were so bad he would probably kill himself if they happened. But why not just die anyways. His only reason for living was going to be at an alter soon with her. Another tear.

_It's so loud inside my head_

_With words that I should have said!_

_As I drown in my regrets_

_I can't take back the words I never said_

_I can't take back the words I never said_

The devil and the angel were on his shoulders. The angel telling him it was worth the shot! He needed to say it to him. The devil was filling him with paranoia and fear on what could happen and his voice was getting louder than the angel's. Another tear.

_Now you can say it ain't our fault if we never heard it_

_But if we know better than we probably deserve it_

_Jihad is not a holy war, wheres that in the worship?_

He told himself it wasn't his fault. It came with the many excuses. But he did know better. They used to say they'd trust each other with anything. That they'd tell each other everything no matter what it was. And Yami had done so. Except on that one thing. He just couldn't do it on that one thing. He was too weak. Another tear.

_Murdering is not Islam!_

_And you are not observant_

_And you are not a muslim_

He really wasn't observant. Of course he didn't know that. He didn't know his feelings were returned. He didn't know that the boy he loved felt he was holding Yami back. So he got out of his life. And when he said I love you at night, it meant more than what Yami thought. But of course Yami didn't know this. Another tear.

_Israel don't take my side cause look how far you've pushed them_

_Walk with me into the ghetto, this where all the Kush went_

_Complain about the liquor store but what you drinking liquor for?_

_Complain about the gloom but when'd you pick a broom up?_

He didn't want to pressure the boy. That was the last thing Yami wanted. Yami wanted a relationship with love and care and trust. But if he felt forced into it, where was the trust then? Yugi was wondering if he should get the vodka from the trunk. Drown away all his sorrows. He had been doing a lot of that recently too. Another tear.

_Just listening to Pac ain't gone make it stop_

_A rebel in your thoughts, ain't gon make it halt_

_If you don't become an actor you'll never be a factor_

Listening in his mind to the words he would speak, seeing in his mind him telling Yugi he loved him didn't make it true. It didn't help. It just filled him with more sadness and longing for that to be the way it was. In a way, it was a form of self-torture. Another tear.

_Pills with million side effects_

_Take em when the pains felt_

_Wash them down with Diet soda!_

_Killin off your brain cells_

Maybe he should take the pills today. He didn't care about any stupid side effects as long as long as the pain went away. Killing his brain cells he thought might be a form of mercy. Maybe if enough of them went, he wouldn't be smart enough to care for Yugi the same way and the pain would be gone. But just the thought of forgetting Yugi made Yami's heart clench in pain and sorrow. He just couldn't win no matter how he went about it. Another tear.

_Crooked banks around the world _

_would gladly give a loan today_

_So if you ever miss a payment_

_They can take your home away_

She always said she wanted to be a dancer but Atemu saw her as more of an actor. That was what she did after all. Act. Act like she loved him when she didn't and Yami knew it. Act like she cared for his well-being when she would happily dump him on the side of the street for the next cutest or more popular boy in line. But she would give him to Yami. She would give him over to Yami for a while. Just to snatch him back and snatch Yami's heart out in the process. Another tear.

_It's so loud inside my head_

_With words that I should have said!_

_As I drown in my regrets_

_I can't take back the words I never said_

_I can't take back the words I never said_

His head was literally ringing with all that was in it at the time. All the possibilities of what could and could not happen. One side trying to bring him up, the other trying to bring him down. The angel and the devil were back on his shoulder and they were both yelling in his ears. Another tear.

_I think that all the silence is worse than all the violence_

_Fear is such a weak emotion, that's why I despise it_

_We scared of almost everything, afraid to even tell the truth_

_So scared of what you think of me, I'm scared of even telling you_

No more tears. Yami suddenly found himself out of the car running. Running towards the church. He had been right before. This song was correct. He needed to stop being a coward. He was scared, but he couldn't let that stop him. He had to tell him. He had to tell him how he felt no matter what the cost.

_Sometimes I'm like the only person I feel safe to tell it to_

_I'm locked inside a cell in me, I know that there's a jail in you_

_Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few_

_My screams is finally getting free, my thoughts is finally yelling through_

'Do you take Tea Gardner to be your lawfully wedded wife?' Yugi looked up at the priest and then at Tea. This isn't what he wanted. He didn't want Tea, he wanted Yami. His Yami who he loved more than words could describe. But he couldn't have Yami and he knew that. So instead he was about to sat the two words that would seal the deal when he heard a different word that was even more powerful.

'STOP!'

_It's so loud inside my head_

_With words that I should have said_

_As I drown in my regrets_

_I can't take back the words I never said_

_I can't take back the words I never said_

The words came to Yami as he ran down the isle, eyes only on Yugi. Yugi's eyes only on him as he ran to meet him. When he finally reached him, Yami placed out a hand to caress Yugi's face, so happy when Yug didn't flinch or back away. In fact he leaned into the touch. 'Yugi.' That one word said everything. It said I love you. It said I'm sorry. 'Yami.' And both boys met halfway as they both came up for a kiss. A kiss full of love and care. Yugi backed away and hugged Yami tightly, holding onto his leather shirt as if he would disappear. Yami removed the bangs from Yugi's face and finally said it. 'I love you.' There was a gasp of shock and repulsion from the crowd and from Tea but neither boy noticed or cared. 'I love you too koi. I love you so much.' They kissed once more before leaving the church. There was a crowd of angry people and an angry almost bride. But both boys didn't care about that. Finally, in Yami's head, it was silent. The regret was gone.

AN: I don't own Yugioh or words I never said by Lupe Fiasco. My first song fic! So how did I do? R&R


End file.
